For the record this is all for fun so nobody should quote me ooo, before i see EFCC and DSS raiding my house. Enjoy.
Your seselency, Aisha Bureau De Change, the pest lady, oh! Sorry the wife of the fresident of the pedral lipublik of Naijeria. Your seselency, fropessuar Yemi Osibande, the pice fresident of the pedral lipublik of Naijeria.
Your seselencies, the Senate fresident and the sfeeker of the house of refresensesiv. Your seselency, John Oyegun, the national chairman of our great farty, the All Frogressive Confidence. (A Fee Cee).
You seselency, the chairman of Independent Naijeria Electoral Cuomisun. Not porgeting our sfecial guest of honor, fresident Michele of West Germany. Members of the fress. Pellow Naijerians.
Walahi talahi if I must conpess, it is not easy to gubern a kuontri like Naijeria because our fifu are criminals and berry kwarupt, no wunder my preind, the frime minister of UK said we are pantasticaly kwarupt. And I totally agree with him though I don't agree with UK Daily Mail newsfafer that said the pormer gubernor of Livers State who is now my minister por transfort is pantasticaly kwarupt. The money Amaechi injected into my camfein was gotten prom his savings.
Waka shege damburuba to Tyrano Tsunami and his gang por Pesvook and Twitter that are saying that I am not paiting kwaruption. If I catch them eh, sorry would be their middle name. Boko Haram terrorists are still bombing though, but they have been depeated tekinicaly because we have granted them amnesty. Any Boko Haram you see still bombing today are not Nijerians but Chadians. If you are prom the North and you have any bruder that looks like a Boko Haram member, just bring him and we will grant him amnesty.
Flease you fifu should stop accusing Pulani herdsmen of killings because those fifu are not Pulani fifu but Libyans. Pulani fifu are feacepul fifu. Chibok Girls! Yoowaa, this is my highest achievement por the fast one year in oppice.
We have rescued two of the Chibok girls that were kidnapped in their hotels. Though there is confroversy surrounding their rescue because the pest girl has so many conplicting names and cannot speak English. And madam Oby Ezekwesili of BBOG has said that the second girl's name is not pound on the oliginal list. I don't know if she is saying that because I repused to give her pedral appointment. But whether they are Chibok girls or not, the most imfortant thing is that there was a rescue. Shikena!
Lung live the pedral guberment of Naijeria.